We Stand Strong
times have past
things have changed
we are never going to be the same
but for the memories we shared
could never be erased
some have left
some have stayed
but nothing could changed the things we had
one for all
two to be shared
five are friends forever
and memories of 125 shall be der3
friends forever till the end (:
- forever 125
Sunday, August 13, 2006
zuru zuru... zuru zuru... zuru zuru...
zuru zuru is the jap slang for delaying something... for dreading stuff... for not wanting to face something... for not wanting to do something...
ya, i'm zuru zuru-ing...
PeOpLe...
i was contemplating whether or not i should be my old cheerful self in this post... i wanted to... so that u all will not worry for me so much... but i realized i couldn't bring myself to it... i just couldn't... so here i am... this post, a raw, transparent and pellucid reflection of my heart right now....
first i'm SO sorry for this late post... told sophie to tell u all that i will post this on fri's night, but i was seriously so sick then... had real bad headache and fever. plus sore throat and lost my voice... really don't feel like doing anything... i felt handicapped.... not being able to talk.... so i just sort of shut myself up... slept.
then there was yesterday in which i still had fever... and haven't got my voice back... i just wanted to rest... because i'm so sick and tired. i went to the blog late at night... saw the entries by sophie. gave a few chuckles... thks so much sophie... for being there for us... then i saw the doodles... those tags... became quite emo... guessed that was the trigger... those overwhelming emotions bottled so long let loose... stress of not being able to catch up in sch... stress of the coming operation.... et cetera... et cetera... et cetera.
before i take up too much space again, better say the impt stuff first.
Thank u all so much for everything... for ALL the well wishes... and concern. miss and love u guys.
i really appreciate all these, even though i might not reply to all... cause i don't know what to say... thks? thks again? thks so much!? i guess its heartfelt... words isn't exactly the best tool here... yup. thks so much
alright...details of my operation tmr.
1. second time i'm in the operation theatre in my life as the patient.
2. 11am at Changi General Hospital Endoscopy Centre Level 3
3. Going to do a colonscopy... that means they are going to put a tube through my rectum to the colon in the large intestine... see what happen inside... need to pump air inside to do so... to diagnose colon and rectal prob... to perform biopsies... to remove colon polyps IF ANY... (pls no...) because that means there's more follow up to this... more operations... et cetera... et cetera... et cetera.
4. will be partially sedated only... that means i will be sleepy but still half conscious.... young patient they wounldn't go for full anaesthesia... waste time have to wait for me to wake up...
5. takes roughly one hour... (one hour with foreign object in my body... conscious)
6. have to stay in hospital so temporary ward for 2-3 hours... till i wake up... ok enough to leave with my dad whose going with me...
7. costs $332.50.... thank God got medisave...
8. rare but possible symptons that the doc and i are afraid of happening after the colonscopy... because that means a lot more stuff and complications... things like abdominal pain... high fever... and INTERNAL BLEEDING... i think this is the one i'm most worried for... sounds perfectly logical for it to happen... but i know it wouldn't happen. i have faith.
9. after the operation have to reat at home for a while... got mc covered... but that means more lessons missed... tue most likely cannot... hopefully wed can come see u all le...
10. will know the results that day... unless got polyps etc removed then must wait...
11. in 2 hours time i've got to prepare for it already... (now sunday afternoon 4pm) by drinking LOTS of laxatives.... 4 litres.... argh.... in the short span of 4 hours... from 6pm to 10pm... 16 cups... 15 min intervals... for 4 whole hours i will be so busy. drink, go toilet, come out drink, go toilet etc etc etc etc.... nothing else. wow this will be the busiest 4 hours of my life i'm going to spend man.... thinking of camping in toilet...
12. cannot eat anything from 6 pm later on till after operation... going to have my 'last' meal before operation later in 30 mins time... fish congee... i've already prepared what buffet to eat on tue when i'm feeling better already hopefully. SAKAE SUSHI. healthy and filling. student buffet from 3.30pm to 6pm? something like that... i will be there... alone maybe...
more details but really don't wanna let u all more worried le... its because of the class and teachers sincerity and genuine concern that i'm so frank about it... thks people.
to sophie: see i blog le... haha sry took so long... know u've been checking back... thks... ;) thks SOOOOOOOOOOO much for concern.
to rathi: thks for posting. my name sheng long.... not shen long... but thks!!! really thks for those well wishes. really.
to cheryl: thks! ur spirit never dies... so joyful and infectious. ;) i will really be expecting hugs... haha haha haha. thks for everything!!!
to hui juan: yup wanna see u all soon. really really thks for posting. miss u all. thks for always showering me with concern
to sann: u too! thks so much!!! (see all i can say is thks... but i really mean it...) will try my best to come back and see u all very soon!
to kaile: thats the phrase i was thinking!!! seeking solace in solitude... argh... can't beat u... haha. yup don't worry i will not. i am still sound and with a sane mind, and i'm not trying to run away from anything or to avoid prob... jus feeling very spaced out. thks so much for concern! u never fails to reply to ur students post. deeply appreciated. especially when u are so busy. a true relational teacher cum bud. ;)
to ziting, jinhui, renfeng, sarah, sue, li ching, shi ling, sharon, junhan, samuel, maurice, thet lwin, derrick, vivek, elvis and qingping: thks for being with me. jus your simple presence counts. each and every single one. thks so much. really really.
to mr. chua (tell him ya? ;) : know you've been VERY stress about me. talking to mr. ganesh and principal perhaps about my situation. concern over my promos. i really appreciate this. the genuine concern. and actual actions. i'm doing my part and my very best too. understand that u might be a little exasperated sometimes and really wanna see me in sch. i will try. its not i don't want. i can't for now. but thks. know that u will understand. ;)
if u all ask what was i feeling before i typed this post, its
ANGST
A feeling of anxiety or apprehension often accompanied by depression.
thats the best word man. but now i'm feeling otherwise after all the thank u and pouring of everything. ;) i'm feeling so blessed and fortunate... to have everyone in my life... God didn't put me in 125 by chance. Thank u Abba Father.
With love,
Sheng Long
recorded
12:03 AM
`cool people =P
{♥} Cheryl
{♥} ElviS
{♥} KaiLE
{♥} Sarah
{♥} Sann
{♥} Sharon
{♥} Sophie
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